A Comparison Between The Bachelor and Televised Sports

I think that for a woman, the experience of watching The Bachelor might be similar to a man’s experience watching televised sports. I’ve been watching televised sports; they’re beautiful. The lush green pitch, finely toned calves, glistening spandex pants, broad shoulder pads, fluid ball movement, team together somehow acting as::: one : MIND, pace pace and slam dunk, freeze rage, and replay slo-mo replay. But while, for me, the athletes are major-league attractive, I imagine men identify with them more. I figure they must, otherwise staring at beautiful men getting physical with one another wouldn’t be the hallmark of heterosexuality.

Now The Bachelor, let’s be honest, is also a competition. The contestants want to find love sure, but damn it, what they’d really like to be are winners – I project. During Bachelor season we (my roommates and Kristina and Dani and probably some other people) see the highlighted pays: the triumphs, miseries, and extremes. We identify. We think, I could be in that game if I had a better body. We root for specific girls; we have rivals. Tenley is from Oregon so is technically our home team.

The object in play instead of being a ball has balls. Trivial distinction.

And in the end, the prize is a little gold ring instead of a big gold trophy, but it’s the same thing. The losers cry and the winners cry... if the Bachelor has a half-time show I can’t think of what it is. The difference is when the winner of the Bachelor cries we call it love. That “love” is mistaken victory; it’s hard work that has finally paid off. In the off-season players get traded, the Bachelor changes his mind or the winner gets a better contract. And we at home are not surprised and look forward to next season.


  1. I hate the bachelor. I love sports.

    The sports I love have two teams. One winner, one loser. The bachelor has one winner who didn't win anything but a man stupid enough to be on the show, who has already made out with many other people.. on the show.

    Also, I think I would rather have a huge gold trophy than a little gold ring. It seems more practical.

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