I talked to a friend who got divorced a couple of years ago. He was saying that a big thing to get over was the thought that his wife (now ex-wife) needed him, that she wouldn't survive without him. In my experience she's a hyper competent, fiercely independent person, so that was surprising to hear.
Another of my friends, a long time ago, was telling me that in general he feels happy when a former partner starts seeing someone else. That's when he knows she's really okay. Small sample size of men here, obviously. But it was interesting to me. Part patronizing, part sweet. I don't know, for whatever credit they're not immediately giving their former partners - in the categories of strength and ability - it seems they're making up for in care. Some (maybe biological) urge saying "protect her" "take care of her." I don't hate it (at least right now).
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