I was going to ask, on Twitter, whether there was any news that I should be apprised of. Because, see, it was a joke about my being uninformed and having to get my news from other people. But then I thought, there's no way I can do that because, with my luck, it'll be right after something really big and sad happened, and it'll look like I'm making reference to, and disrespecting that thing.
Really big and sad stuff is happening all the time (probably). And this got too long for Twitter.