March 2, 2022

I'm still feeling a little out of it because of the wisdom teeth. I think I have a low-grade fever. A short scene, if Someone were to ask--

Someone: How are you feeling? 

Amy: Not too bad. I think I have a fever. 

End scene. 

Or alternatively: 

Amy: Not too bad. I want my mouth to be healed now. 

End scene. 

But my lower jaw is so slight and recessed in general that having this swelling makes me look genuinely cute. Like a different person, but still cute. 

MLOG Time! 

I'm behind on these, you'll see. 

DEATH ON THE NILE

2022

Directed by: Kenneth Branagh

Written by: Michael Green

Watched: 2/15/22

We start with a scene from Poirot’s past. He’s a soldier in WWI and he gallantly rescues his men by noticing the bird’s behavior – it means that the winds are calm. So the unit advances and overtakes the enemy in a situation where they otherwise would almost certainly die. However, a booby trap on a bridge is tripped and the explosion scars one side of Poirot’s face. It turns out this is why he wears such a giant mustache. He has a love, there to tend to him or to visit or something, who accepts him anyway, scar and all. Present day, Poirot is vacationing in Egypt where he meets his friend Bouc, who is on the honeymoon trip for Linnet (Gal Godot) and Simon. Poirot has seen Linnet before and we flash back to a night club, where Poirot orders one of every desert. He sees Simon there with Louise, Linnet’s cousin. Simon and Louise are engaged to be married, but Louise introduces Simon to Linnet (her very rich cousin) and the two hit it off. Now, Louise is following the honeymooning couple everywhere, and it’s stressing Linnet out. What’s more, Linnet doesn’t feel safe with any of the guests. While they’re in Egypt, someone dislodges a bolder from up above which nearly hits Linnet. Eventually, Louise shoots Simon in the leg. Louise is taken with the nurse and given sedatives. The doctor attends to Simon’s injuries. In the morning, Linnet is found dead, shot through the head. What else… oh the maid is found dead in the water, her throat cut. And Bouc is shot in the head while Poirot and Simon are questioning him. In the end, it’s revealed that Simon and Louise were in on it together. Louise shoots Simon with a blank. Simon acts injured. Left alone, he runs and shoots Linnet then runs back and shoots himself in the leg (for real) before the doctor gets to him. Simon was planning on inheriting Linnets money and running away with Louise. Oh shoot – and Louise’s actual name is Jackie. Louise is the maid. 

I thought this movie was okay. There were lots of CGI animal intercuts – like crocodiles eating fish and stuff – I think to try enhance the mood, but it didn’t really work for me. Also, I think I feel negatively about making Poirot a kind of romantic hero. In the books, as far as I’m aware, he keeps his huge mustache out of vanity. He’s a ridiculous figure and he’s also very dangerous. I don’t know, wouldn’t that also play for a movie? Both he and Miss Marple are more effective because people underestimate them and because they are outsiders. Why not let the audience underestimate them? Why not let us ask, we’re really watching a movie about this guy? Both he and Miss Marple are frivolous. Until they’re not. I like that about the books. It’s kind of the reoccurring thesis – shame on you for being so sure. So sure about Poirot, so sure about your aims that you’re willing to commit murder, so sure a woman can’t be a writer (okay, I’m filling in that last one). But maybe. Kenneth Branagh did BELFAST and that’s supposed to be good. But I don’t know, this movie was kind of a miss. 

Rating: ★★