I submitted an application to the California Arts Council, yesterday. It was for an Individual Artists Fellowship. I applied for the lowest tier at $5,000. I focused on audio producing and editing in my proposal, saying I'd use the money to produce another audio play (Unknown Number).
I just zoned out for a bit thinking about Unknown Number. I have people in mind for actors and director. Imagining the situation, trying to see if they'd really fit. I'm excited to do it, whether or not I get the grant. I think it would be a good experience and, hopefully, a good example of what I'm capable of.
The money itself would be great -- unrestricted funds! The holy grail. But almost more than that, it would be incredible to have that vote of confidence, that validation. After spending years in my professional life helping other people with their grants, I could win a grant of my own. It's silly, but maybe my boss would announce it in lab meeting. I would blush. It would be very cool.
I also submitted a screenplay (Hell House) to Screamfest LA, yesterday. I found it when I looked through a list of previous CAC grantees. A friend of mine had advised me to send my scripts in to more genre-based stuff. These script competitions are expensive and are probably the wrong path. But I'm submitting more broadly this year, and we'll see what happens.
6PM Update
I write blog posts in the morning when I'm sleepy and can never think of anything. So here's some 6PM proof that interesting things really do happen to me.
I was at the grocery store and I found a thing of kiwi berries. Tiny little kiwis that you can eat like grapes. A couple of months ago, they started selling these bell peppers that were red, orange, and yellow STRIPED. Plus any regular day, they have squid steaks and full tilapias and pollos asada at the deli counter. This is just the grocery store, but they're coming up with things I've never seen on the regular. ("On the regular" is not how I really talk, I don't think. I've been trying to be conscious of when I'm using appropriated or semi-appropriated phrasing, which is probably a dull, mildly self-important sentiment.) Let's try again: They're regularly coming up with things I've never seen. Or just: They're coming up with things I've never seen before! That's fine. See, I can just say that.
Unrelated. Something I've been kicking around in my head is wondering why people (seems like mostly men) get so into politics. Knowing about it. Having opinions on it. Tailoring their selection of facts to meet their opinions. I wonder if it's a satisfying or meaningful pursuit, aligning yourself in your mind with things that have Significance. Better than looking at one's own life? Than connecting to the regular people hanging around, like family or coworkers? I don't mean the topics at hand are unimportant -- of course, taxation, economics, social norms, media narratives, etc, are important. But I'm wondering about the people who spend a lot of time, effort, and emotional energy just having thoughts about them.
If it is a kind of escape hatch, a way to forget ones own life and focus on things that are grand and serious, I get it. My own life regularly surprises me with how low stakes it is. How, contrary to my thinking in elementary school, I might not be destined for the history books. But superficially hitching your wagon to Big Things maybe distracts from the somewhat grinding job of finding and creating real meaning. From discovering new agricultural delights at the grocery store.
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